Having a chat – St. Patrick’s day, Alcohol & Peer Pressure

🔝🔝🔝 A massive St. Patrick’s day throwback for yal 🍀

Hi errrbody, how are you all doing? I hope you’re all doing well and if you’re Irish I hope you’re getting to celebrate St. Patrick’s day in whatever fun way you have planned. Or if not I hope you’re still enjoying your week! 🍀

My main discussion point of this blog is going to be around alcohol and the pressure to drink alcohol and go on nights out. I have struggled with alcohol for as long as I can remember. My relationship with alcohol is more bad than good, in fact there is barely any good moments.

When I decided to cut down on my drinking I started to get a lot of stick about it and even up until this day I’m confused by it.

Picture this, you’re at this party and everyone’s chilled having a good time, drinking away. Most people are in between tipsy and drunk and everyone’s having a good time. That is until this very intoxicated girl shows up and she’s drinking everyone’s drink, she can’t really string a sentence together, she’s all over that guy, wait now she’s all over that guy, she doesn’t seem to have a bag and she’s definitely fallen a lot because there’s bruises and cuts on her legs and she definitely should go home.

The next day that same girl wakes up in a bed, in a room she’s never seen before and one she doesn’t remember getting into. She can’t see any of her belongings and she’s not sure who’s lying beside her and she’s not sure where she is but she needs to get out. So she runs out and runs home in last night’s dress carrying her stilettos and everyone who passes her stares and knows she’s doing the walk of shame.

As the day goes by paranoia kicks in and she sinks into a depression, she begins to overthink her whole life. She doesn’t know where her phone, her wallet or her bag is. She cries silently to herself thinking “why do I keep doing this to myself?”.

That girl was me. Is me.

I have controlled my drinking but one sip of vodka and I’m there again and it’s a terrifying thing. I’m not an addict I don’t crave alcohol, in fact I hate the thought of having to drink it. I’ve an issue with binge drinking.

I was never really thought about the effect alcohol can have on some people and not others, growing up. Yes I’d heard about alcoholics and if I’m being honest I thought they were older people, the ones you picture waiting for the pub to open on a Tuesday morning.

Alcohol is dangerous and it can have a massive effect on your mental and physical health. I thought you had to drink to have a good time, what a load of crap, if I was having a good time why was I crying myself to sleep most Sunday nights after a Saturday night bender?

By drinking alcohol I was a danger to myself, I was 16 and drinking more vodka than Sprite in my drink. I was lucky SnapChat wasn’t available back then when I fell in a nightclub and people could see my vagina. One night I couldn’t even find my way home and I was in my own estate.

I’ve gotten lost at festivals miles from home, I’ve tried to kill myself whilst drunk and I’ve been sexual assaulted while under the influence. Not that that is my fault but my guard was down.

I would go limb. My mind wouldn’t know itself, I would picture things that weren’t there, I would talk to people who weren’t there and I would imagine my life was ending. Please know, I was never on anything else, this was all alcohol.

People believed I was on other drugs but I put my hand on my heart and swear that alcohol done more damage on me that I never went seeking anything stronger.

So I’ve been very open about these things that happened to me – I’ve told most of my friends and they’ve witnessed these moments and they’ve dropped comments here and there about how embarrassing I was and I always knew it was embarrassing for them so I thought they would be eager for me to stop? Turns out, no. Not all my friends but some.

So some have called me boring over and over again. Some have stopped having regular contact with me. Get angry at me for not wanting to go when it’s not an event or birthday. Some have rolled their eyes at me when I’ve said I don’t like to drink and told me I was twenty six not forty six.

Oh yes, this some, is one friend. My best friend.

It’s been quite hard and they’re definitely not the only one, but it hurts. It really hurts.

I’m at a stage in my life where I want to be moving forward not backwards and I want people in my life who want good things for me and my health.

I want friends who still want to be friends with me even if I don’t head out on a night out often and I want people to understand why it’s important for me not to drink.

This is my message to you reading this, please educate yourself on alcohol and the effects it can have on you. Please do not be pressured into drinking alcohol and please if you drink, drink in moderation. Please never pressure anyone in anything they don’t want to do and take care of your loved ones. Take care of your friends on nights out and be there for them when they cut down on their alcohol usage.

St. Patrick’s day is seen as a massive piss up in Ireland and I just ask that you all take care over this holiday. Please be careful of how and what you drink. If you don’t feel like drinking – don’t drink. Please look after your drunk friends. Please never drive a car under the influence or get into a car where the driver is under the influence. Please never walk home late at night by yourself.

Be safe folks and have a wonderful week… Happy St. Patrick’s weekend 🍀🎉 xx